


Strategic Thinking

by Dorksidefiker



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Merciless Teasing Between Friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 05:06:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11752656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dorksidefiker/pseuds/Dorksidefiker
Summary: What Zarkon needs is a good battle plan.  Unfortunately, he's far outside his zone of competence, and his closest allies may not have his best interests at heart.





	Strategic Thinking

The glint in Alfor's eye told Zarkon that he had just made a serious tactical error.

 

With exaggerated care, Alfor peered around Zarkon's bulk, letting his eyes fall on Honerva's work station at the edge of the rift. The alchemist in question had her back to them, far more interested in what was going on within the trans-dimensional gash in reality than either of the kings sharing the chamber with her. So far as Zarkon was concerned, her ability to focus on her work to the exclusion of all else was one of Honerva's many admirable qualities. At that very moment, he was grateful for the fact that it kept her from noticing the grin slowly spreading across Alfor's face.

 

Alfor straightened, looking up to meet Zarkon's eyes. "Why don't you try sweeping her up in your arms, telling her that she _will_ be yours, and... how did the rest of it go?  Something about kissing her soundly, I believe?"

 

"I hate you," Zarkon hissed, much to Alfor's obvious delight.  "Your own courtship made it clear that what would work on any sensible Galra-"

 

"Will get you two black eyes and a broken foot when dealing with anyone else?"  Alfor suggested with just a trace of old anger.  How was _Zarkon_ to know that the advice Alfor had asked for would go over so badly?

 

Zarkon took Alfor by the shoulders and backed him out of the rift chamber, grateful for how swiftly the doors opened and closed behind them.  At least _something_ worked as he wished it to.  "I will throttle you where we stand and your wife will give me a medal for it."

 

"Parade," Alfor corrected him with a laugh.  "She said she'd throw you a parade."

 

Zarkon discovered that he had made a second tactical error when he realized that rather than being either blessedly empty -- or at least occupied by reasonably discrete alchemists and technicians -- the anti chamber  instead held Gyrgan, Trigel, and worst of all, _Blaytz_.

 

"Why are you finally killing Alfor?"  Trigel asked.  "Not that I'd stop you.  I'm sure he deserves it.  Just curious."

 

"I'm just trying to repay Zarkon's brilliant advice on courtship-"  Alfor began, much to the amusement of the others.

 

Zarkon raised a hand in warning, drawing on his years of leadership to take command of the conversation.  "I will _not_ be made an object of mockery," he growled.

 

"Too late," Blaytz said, shoulders shaking with barely suppressed laughter.  "You went to _Alfor_ for romantic advice.   _Alfor!_   _Alfor_ , who thought listening to _you_ was a good idea!"

 

"In all fairness,"  Gyrgan said slowly, "Alfor is the only one of us to successfully complete a courtship that did not involve any prearranged alliances."

 

Trigel made a dismissive noise.  "I still find the whole concept overrated."

 

" _That_ is because you're all brain and no heart."  Blaytz turned an exaggerated look of pity on Trigel.  "It's all logic with you, and _love_ isn't logical."

 

"And you're the expert," Zarkon said slowly.  There was no mockery in his tone, just a certain thoughtfulness.  A wise general always listened to the specialist, and even Zarkon was willing to admit that Blaytz had a way of charming almost anyone with very little effort.

 

Blaytz was already one step ahead of Zarkon.  "Is it Honerva?  What am I saying, of _course_ it's Honerva."  He was already in motion, striding out of the anti chamber like a man on a mission.  It actually took Zarkon, who had been considering how to phrase his next question, a moment to catch up with what was happening.  Then he was off after Blaytz.

 

" _Advice_ , I need **_advice_** , not one of your schemes!" he hissed, blocking Blaytz's path.

 

Blaytz just dodged around, walking backwards for a few steps as he waggled a finger at Zarkon.  "My _advice_ is that actions speak louder.  Stay.  I'll be right back.  And _don't_ do anything Alfor tells you to do!"  Then he was off again, leaving Zarkon to ponder what, exactly, made Blaytz's advice any different from what Zarkon had told Alfor at the beginning of his own courtship.

 

He turned to his fellow paladins for support, but found none, though at least Gyrgan looked sympathetic to his plight.  "You can't deny that Blaytz knows a lot about... attraction."

 

"Is _that_ what we're calling it now?" Trigel asked innocently as Alfor snickered.

 

Gyrgan shot them both a disapproving look.  "We're all here for you, remember that."

 

Blaytz returned carrying a large tray that he promptly shoved into Zarkson's hands, silencing the Galra king's nascent protests with a stern look.  "Her lunch," he said, pointing to the first of the three covered dishes on the tray, " _your_ lunch, treats for the hell beast.  You go in there, you eat lunch with her, and you _talk to her_.  Ask questions and let her talk, and don't even _think_ about leaving until all the food is gone."  Blaytz turned Zarkon towards the rift chamber doors.  "And for all our sakes, _don't_ try to flirt.  It's not one of your strong suits."  Blaytz finished his instructions with a little shove, just hard enough to put Zarkon in rang of the doors sensor.

 

Honerva turned at the sound of the doors opening, surprise flashing briefly across her face.  Zarkon managed to keep from stumbling over his own feet or dropping the tray.  The battle plans had been made; it was time to engage.

 

"I thought you might care for some refreshment,"  Zarkon said, stepping forward so the doors could close behind him and afford them a modicum of privacy.

 

 

 

On the other side of the rift chamber doors doors, Alfor asked, "You went along with that awfully quick.  What are you up to?"

 

"Hopefully?  Eroding discipline enough to shake the stick loose."


End file.
